daily update: 9/13
thus far, i have not talked about anything personal on my blog but i think that yesterday was truly a day marked by the personal. i got a call from one of my good friends in lexington around 2 am saturday morning which changed how i thought about perhaps even friendship as an entity. i was incredibly upset and confused so spent the morning at home, calling a myriad of friends and discussing both the situation and my realization with them. it was also a good opportunity to catch up with those that i love. basically, what chris had told me on tuesday, was more true than i had realized. people move on. we don’t miss those who aren’t in our lives. that part was alright—as i have said before, i’ve accepted that fact. but i realized that your friends don’t always value you as much as you value them. and that part was hard to accept.
i decided to go to paris with kevin—he was going to see some friends, and i wanted to visit musee d’orsay.
the museum is incredible—it’s actually housed inside a former railway station which you can tell in the photo. and i went for one specific reason: to see the paintings that van gogh made while living in auvers-sur-oise. it’s the first exhibit that i rushed to when i got inside the museum and it was even more magnificent than i expected. sadly, no photographs are allowed, but this was the painting that i enjoyed the most. to have seen the actual place of inspiration and to now see the painting was such an amazing feeling. i found the picture that i had taken on my phone and just stood there for a few minutes, completely mesmerized.
it’s a museum dedicated to french art, with special attention given to impressionists and post-impressionists, and i enjoyed looking at the different masterpieces by monet, manet, degas, and renoir. on top of the fifth floor of the museum, is a pretty incredible view of the louvre and of paris.
i didn’t really have a plan for the rest of the day so i caught a bus just to see where i would end up. i got off around pont marie and was just walking around when i came across berthillon, the most famous ice cream shop in paris! of course, i had to have a scoop—tiramisu and it was delicious. i continued walking, ending up at notre dame. realizing that i still hadn’t made the effort to go inside the gothic masterpiece, i stood in the queue for around 15 minutes and finally made it in.
i sat in the pews and prayed. it was an emotionally exhausting morning and i had felt quite alone all day. suddenly, everyone stood up and the saturday evening service began. my timing was perfect. two singers took the stage and there were beautiful french hymns being sung. the feeling was electric—i had goosebumps. it was one of the moments i’ll never forget: saturday evening mass at the notre dame. i was in one of the most beautiful cathedrals in the world, in the middle of a city i’ve had the privilege of calling home. i knew that i’d be alright in a few days—i’m seeing my parents in less than two weeks. oxford orientation is on the second. i know that i have lots of love to share—and i just have to share it with the right people. the world is out there and if anyone, i believe in me.
i left as the priest began speaking—after all, the service is all in french and i wanted to make it home in time for dinner. we ate tomatoes and mozzarella and pasta and i called manu, nicole, and my parents (who were so incredibly kind and supportive) before watching gossip girl and falling asleep.